Manliness (part 2): the Role of being a Provider

In addition to being willing and able to be a protector of his domain, it is expected that a ‘manly’ man be a provider for those in his stewardship or even in the pale of his influence.  A lazy or incompetent man is not a ‘manly’ man in almost any society one can name. In one way or another, a manly man must pull his own weight and ‘put meat on the table.’

On the other hand, a man may be a ‘good man’ (but not lazy or incompetent) yet not necessarily a ‘manly man,’ or, conversely  he could have one or two of the key qualities of being ‘manly’ but not be considered a ‘good man.’  For example, the 1960’s movie The Magnificent Seven was built upon this theme.  The vulnerable farmers, who were good men but not very good at being men, needed the protection of the gunfighters, who were good at being men but were not very good men.

A good provider protects a man’s family, if not from armed enemies, then from bill collectors, hunger, and the specter of poverty knocking at one’s door.  He provides food, warmth, shelter, companionship, a home, a government.  To provide he must create or be part of the creative process.  To provide is to tame nature and to turn it to his or his family’s use or the use of his fellows.  A provider role extends to his contribution to the welfare of others—someone upon whom others can depend.

It is in the act of creating that we become ‘most like the gods’—hence the esteem that often attends such a man. As for his own satisfaction, man as worker, man as builder, man as creator – these roles offer the deep satisfaction that comes with being able to say: “I did this with my own hands.”

Creating, and thus being able to provide, can take various forms: to add to the world’s treasury of knowledge; to provide others with spiritual sustenance; to provide technical and material advancement. Factory workers and philosophers, scientists and artists, ditch diggers and teachers — they all add something to society’s store — whether in tangible goods, knowledge, or beauty.

Related as it is to the ability to make something out of nothing but an idea, in many cultures resourcefulness was/is connected to the provider role as well and celebrated as a manly trait. As David Gilmore (cited earlier) points out, “the theme of solving collective problems figures in most mythologies of the world as the basis of the myth of the culture hero.” Think of the way Odysseus must use not only his strength, but his cleverness and wiles to get home to Ithaca, or the television character of the 1980’s, Angus MacGyver,  whose resourcefulness has become legendary.

Especially is being a provider valued as a sign of manliness if it involves some successful overcoming of risk, especially a physical risk: to an explorer, a hunter or open-water fisherman, a lumberjack, a ranch worker or someone who handles powerful equipment are imputed qualities of ‘manliness.’ 

Another component of being a manly provider is said to be that he acts with personal autonomy.  Autonomy involves the “freedom of movement” — “a mobility of action.” It means being able to make your own decisions, call your own shots, create your own goals, set your own pace, carve your own path. 

A surprising finding made by Gilmore—though not so surprising when considered as he expressed it—was, 

“The hallmark of a real man is that he is selfless; he eats with his kinsmen and friends assembled around him and always shares his food. On the other hand, the man who is stingy with food eats alone…The worst kind of man in Mehinaku  [a primitive culture he studied], though, is one who is lazy, stingy, greedy, evasive, and who eats more than his share. Such parasitic men are despised as effeminate and ostracized as freeloaders; the people assume they are mendacious, immature, and futile as well….a real man is a giving soul, ambitious but generous, a committed team player who pulls his own weight.”

The more people a man provided for, the more dependents he created, the more manly – kingly, really – he was perceived. Thus generosity was a kind of competition to see who could provide the most and consume the least.

As a generality, to conclude this part of the three pillars of manliness, Gilmore’s analysis suggests that “through the ages, the critical threshold for manhood represents the point at which the boy produces more than he consumes.”

We will explore the last of the ‘pillars’ in our next weblog installment: The Procreative Function.