MAINTENANCE and ENTROPY

As a young person I took a lot for granted.  I guess I just assumed that if things were good when I wanted to use them, they would be good when I was finished with them.  If I wanted to use dad’s truck, for example, all I had to do was ask and then put some gas in it after I used it. I didn’t think there was much more to it. I didn’t realize, or think about it, that Dad took care of everything I didn’t see.

As I got older and got my first car I quickly realized there was much more to it than just saving up money to buy the car.  There was insurance.  There was an annual automobile registration and license. There were innumerable repairs that needed to be made to a second or third hand automobile. And, I found, the thing just wore out and continued to get older by the day.  Moreover, I had to maintain a good driving record to have the privilege of driving on roads that I didn’t build or maintain myself.

There were owner responsibilities to maintaining my investment. 

I have always (in my mid-years and beyond) been impressed with the commercial advertisement run many years ago by the Midas muffler and brake shop: “Pay me now – or pay me later,” meaning, take care of your vehicle maintenance now or pay me ‘big time’ for a repair job later when the thing breaks because you neglected it.

The concepts of maintenance and neglect carry over to where you live and other possessions as well as to your health, to your job, and to human relationships.  You can’t just take for granted that everything will stay the same as when you first took interest in whatever it was. 

I have learned that you must give proactive attention to all these things.  You must pay a small price early on, or every day, to keep what you’ve got in good repair.  Moreover, you must make further investments in the object of your interest or need.  It will, like you, get older and need ever-increasing attention and care. Even your education (temporal and spiritual) need regular attention, maintenance, and upgrading.  If you just let things slide you will regret it.  If you let it slide too long, the thing you once valued will be destroyed.

There is a physical law called the Law of Entropy that says that everything in the universe is running down and tends toward disorganization and eventually wins all battles.  That may be true in the physical universe but it doesn’t have to be true in one’s spiritual life. 

Think about it.  Then fight entropy in all areas of your life with maintenance, and better yet, with proactive attention. The tools are out there. 

ETIQUETTE and peoples' names

Except for in golf, or in concerns about where the silverware is placed on the dining room table when ‘company’ is coming over, few people of generation Y or Millennials (born 1981-1996), and even fewer of generation Z  (born between about 1997-2015 or t.b.d.) know or care much about the concept of etiquette in social settings. Generation X (born 1965-1980) had other things on their mind.

But these behaviors were more-or-less drilled into the baby-boomers (born 1946-1964) and taken for granted by earlier generations in the Western World. [Generational cohort designations are provided by Pew Research Center.] I’m of the overlapping generation between baby-boomers and traditionalists who took it for granted and, lest we forget, had it drilled into us by our teachers and some of our parents and surely our grandmothers.  

I am not too concerned about the complexities of table manners and first-time formal introductions, but I am concerned about the principles of respect and the value of certain traditions that, I am convinced, go far to maintaining our very civilization.  Awareness of conventions of etiquette is a part of any good education.

I use as an example of these concerns respect for persons’ names, positions, gender and age as an important starting point.  Names are important to people. Demonstrating a lack of respect or courtesy is not necessarily a moral failure, but it surely and quickly pegs the person doing so in a negative manner—such as in interviews, introductions, and interactions with older, higher social status or ‘better-off’ people—and  contributes to stereotyping of a category (as I’ve done with the Millennial generation whose education in this regard is wanting). When traditional conventions are maintained, however, the person maintaining them is elevated in the eyes of he or she who is honored.  It is worthwhile knowing these things.

Let me show you how this works:  When being introduced to a person it is good etiquette to call him or her by their formal names: Mr. Robert Jones, or Miss Barbara Wilson (Mr. Jones or Miss Wilson will do). Do not call them by their surname (last name) alone, or by the nickname you may hear their peers call them (e.g., ‘Bobbie’ for Robert or ‘Babs’ for Barbara) or even their given first name, Robert or Barbara, but rather by  their title, Mr., Miss, Mrs., Dr., President, Captain, Elder, Sister, Your Honor, Officer or other honorific or appropriate formal titles.  And then, until told otherwise, or time and circumstance dictate, continue this practice. Later, less formal means of address may be employed, but still using the words, sir or ma’am, or miss does not hurt.   

Though it is common, a younger person should not use the term ‘you guys’ to adults older than you—especially when women are among those addressed; they are not 'guys.'  Rather, you might use the term, ‘you folks;’  and ‘ladies,’ and ‘gentlemen’ is almost always appropriate even when addressing young people or athletes in a group setting.

When in a totally informal setting, one-on-one, especially when invited by the person you wish to address asks you to call them by a certain name then do it.  But even then, when you and this person are in a group retain the more formal address out of respect.

Being sloppy or casual about names or titles is just one symptom of a lessening of respect honoring traditions and courtesy in general.  Sloppy speech, insensitive, insulting and offensive language and dress, and failure to respect customs and culture also contribute to a degrading of civilization.

I would highly recommend the reader to spend a little time with a good college dictionary which likely would contain a reference supplement or index to useful features which addresses issues of political or cultural ‘correctness.’  One that I use with regularity is the Random House Webster’s College Dictionary.

If I were to write a longer essay I would add to it, because we are living in such a super-sensitive, divisive world, information on sexism, race, ethnicity, and national origin, ageism, depersonalization of individuals with disabilities or illnesses, patronizing or demeaning expressions, and avoiding language that excludes or unnecessarily emphasizes differences. 

But even then, you would likely offend someone.  I knew I would on my recent essay on 'Abortion,' but the seriousness of the subject overrode niceties of etiquette. 

Welcome to the 21^st Century.