You Talk Too Much

‘You talk too much, you worry me to death

You talk too much, you even worry my pet

You just talk, talk too much.  /

You talk about people that you don’t know

You talk about people wherever you go

You just talk, talk too much. 

(etc.)

If you are over 50 you probably remember this popular song sung in the 1960’s by Joe Jones. Did you every wonder why it became popular?

I have been criticized (mildly) by a woman for saying in one of my previous weblogs that some women I know talk too much.  I suppose some men do too, but….  

In any case, I think you can get the sense of the song.  Many men do get weary, and when they do they tune out, and when they do, relationships suffer and it’s both their faults.  I believe that all people would do well to remember that we have two ears and one mouth—and we would do well to use them in that proportion.  

And no, I am not a misogynist—quite the contrary.  I clearly know that most of the major ills of mankind have been committed by men; but many, many women seem to be afflicted by this issue.  Silence seems to be an intolerable state in any social situation.  A man would like to be heard, occasionally, but many just don’t seem to be able to get a word in edgewise. Here is a challenge: listen in mixed conversations and see who does the talking and rate what you hear on a substantive scale. 

Play writers, philosophers and poets from time immemorial have remarked on this problem.  I would not go so far as the Talmud which says, ‘He who talks too much commits a sin.’  But consider these thoughts:  

Kahlil Gibran, from The Prophet:   “In much of your talking thinking is half-murdered.”

          W. Shakespeare, from Richard III, Act 1. Sec. 3: “Talkers are no good doers.”

Baron Montesquieu: “Those who have few things to attend to are great babblers; for the less men think, the more they talk.”

John Dryden,  from Absalom and Achitophel:  “But far more numerous was the herd of such, who think too little, and talk too much.” 

But to bring my observation up to our day, I just read in our local newspaper that our children (age 2-kindergarten) are having a much more difficult time learning to read than in previous generations.  Oh they ‘communicate’ (in reality, maybe just talk), but they can’t read.  The study showed that the problem is that the parents don’t read—at least they don’t read to and in the viewing of their children. 

  

For our futures’ sake, and for our own sake and our children’s sake nothing beats reading a good book, indeed, many good books.   Just talking (ourselves) to fill up time,  or hearing others’ talk (as on television or enduring the banal ‘communications’ of ‘light’ conversations)  is not a substitution for informed reading/thinking and then speaking something of substance when one has something important to share. 

Read, think, listen, write, and talk a little.