Your Sphere of Influence

Sociologists call the primary group to which you belong a cohort. There are various types of cohorts: a macro cohort would be one to which I belong—the baby boomers; a micro cohort might be your birth family; other cohorts would be groups with which you strongly identify such as Viet Nam veterans or San Francisco Giants Fans or the high school class of ’71.

Since we all belong to some cohorts and since all people (even psychopaths) have a desire to leave a legacy or a mark on the world it follows that we would find our greatest chance of leaving a mark or making a difference in working within the cohorts we most closely relate—those with which we have the most in common. These groups or individuals within the groups we voluntarily or of necessity interact are the ‘raw material’ with whom we live, work, love, hate, and have the most influence.

I am convinced that our primary affiliation groups or associations do not come about by chance; God doesn’t just sprinkle us out on the world like one would with a gigantic salt shaker filled with salt, pepper, and every other type of spice all mixed together. Instead, we get sent to specific parents, families, generations, locations and times, even opportunities and challenges, with the idea that with these associations we will have our best chance to influence or be influenced for the good.

So, I subscribe to the notion to ‘Bloom where you are planted’ or become, as the Army slogan says, ‘Be all that you can be’ given your circumstances and help others in your sphere of influence to do likewise. I have very little patience or sympathy with those who get caught up in the ‘poor me’ mentality and do not see the opportunities before them. Even the supposedly most ‘disadvantaged’ can leave a great mark for good on others and can personally grow in important ways. History has shown this to be the case over and over; age, race, handicap, place of birth, etc., are not ultimately limiting.

The key to a successful life is this: Determine to do the greatest amount of good with the circumstances in which you find yourself. And if your circumstances aren’t what you want, do everything you can to improve them. As I have often said, “He who waits with mouth open for a roast duck to fly in, is in for a long wait.” A song I sometimes sing says, “Improve the shining moments, don’t let them pass you by….” Maybe it would be better said, “Improve the darkening moments….”

A good guideline we could all follow to improve any relationship or marriage is to ask yourself this: “How could I help this person or this situation to make things easier or better for them?” Then just do it.

Your sphere of influence is always larger than you think it is.