EXCUSES

As a former public school teacher I was quite used to the many excuses I would hear each day from students and receive as written notes from their parents.  In conversations with friends who were law enforcement officers or with colleagues who are golf course marshals we sometimes comment on the disingenuous excuses (they are rarely very creative) we hear from those we engage with who are in violation of laws/rules/expectations of the course. 

  

As a duty as an interviewing officer in my Church with ecclesiastical responsibilities I have also heard a fair number of excuses which had to be dealt with in the confession process before repentance could be complete and forgiveness come about.  Judges in courts of law and parents hear excuses all the time and have to cut through them to get to the truth of the matter.

If we were honest we would know that nearly everyone wants to rationalize or attempt to justify misconduct or deficient performance.  Even I have caught myself occasionally trying to gloss-over things until I bring myself up short and remember the folly of so doing.

In light of these realities I tender a few quotations (in italics and in red) I have accumulated over the years that give us some insight as to this unfortunate tendency of human behavior.  After all, “Since excuses were invented, no one is ever in the wrong.” 

The Bible warns us that “Every way of a man is right in his own eyes: but the Lord pondereth the hearts” (Proverbs 21:2)  In fact, the entire book of Proverbs gives us many pithy and insightful variations on this and related themes.  I read it often. 

A few other warnings to those who tend to make excuses are:

         “He that once deceives is ever suspected.”

         “The truth doesn’t hurt unless it ought to.”

          "The sting of a reproach is the truth of it.”  B. Franklin

          “Several excuses are always less convincing than one.”A. Huxley

“He that always complains is never pitied.”

Two wonderful quotations by Abraham Lincoln remind me of the “more excellent way” to deal with excuses or opposition by others:

            “Better give your path to a dog than being bitten by him in contesting for the right.  Even killing the dog would not cure the bite.” 

            “I wish no explanation made to our enemies.  What they want is a squabble and a fuss; and that they can have if we explain, and they cannot have if we don’t.  I shall do nothing in malice.  What I deal with is too vast for malicious dealing.”

Another way of putting it is: “Soft words are hard arguments.”  I take this to mean that 'soft words' are words like 'you are right, I really messed up on this one;' or 'I don't why I did that, I hope you will forgive me;' or 'I'm sorry.'

The use of 'soft words' or even no defense at all are an important part of the development of character.   Character is the ability to win an argument by keeping your mouth shut. 

So, why is it we are so prone to make excuses?  If we really think about it, we know we are not fooling ourselves.  And we should know that most of the people who we make excuses to are not fooled.  And certainly God is not fooled.  

How refreshing it is to engage with people who do not make excuses.