Smiles (and other gifts)

Like many men, I suppose, I have marveled at how much money and time and effort is spent by people to make themselves attractive to others.  And yet how easy and effective it is to simply cultivate the habit of smiling and looking at people in the eye.  A smile is very attractive, and easily trumps an expensive pair of shoes or suit of clothing to bring positive attention to oneself or to make the recipient of the smile feel good or accepted. Smiles break down barriers.  A smile can also compensate, to some extent, for a body that is less than optimal—that, admittedly,  is a little harder to achieve or maintain. 

It seems that the anatomical structure or facial features of some people lends itself to the composition of an easy or natural smile.  Maybe it is a gift. If so, then one should be thankful for it, and use it to one’s own and others’ advantage.  Gifts generally should be shared whenever possible. 

But I also believe the countenance of people can be intentionally altered by practice and by having an optimistic attitude.  If practice and attitude can do it then I believe it is certainly worth the effort.  A few celebrities who have benefited by a great smile—whether natural or cultivated—are Ronald Reagan, Julia Roberts, Hillary Clinton and golfer Matt Kutcher.

Many years ago I learned a little device that might help some people do any number of things—smiling, thanking others, doing something for someone that is not expected, etc.—that make them more effective with others.  It is to start your day with a few small pebbles in one’s left front pants pocket or a few small rubber bands on your left wrist or finger. Then, as you consciously perform the smile or thank you or good deed, moving the object to the ‘right’ side as you have done the ‘right’ thing.  The idea is to get enough practice at it that you soon won’t need the ‘crutch.’

An easy smile, if it is a gift, may even be scriptural or indeed spiritual: “seek earnestly the best gifts”; “every man is given a gift by the Spirit” ; “a merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance”; “lift up your head and be of good cheer”; and “let us cheerfully do all things.”

Finally, at the company for whom I work, it is expected of employees that they adhere to the 15-10-5 rule with guests: At fifteen feet make eye contact with the person; at ten feet smile; and at five feet express a pleasant greeting using the person's name if possible.  Not a bad habit to cultivate anywhere.