UP-COUNTRY

I recently spent a few days in the Sierra Nevada of California.  The contrast to where I now live and have lived for almost all of my life brought me back to what conditions were like nearly a century ago in rural America—and still are when you get away from the cities and suburbs.

Here is what I observed . . .

People and the conditions in which they live in the unincorporated area I was in are markedly (and generally) ‘slower,’ less formal, poorer in terms of material possessions and appearances, and the focus of conversations more on the mundane. 

People I observed and overheard in the grocery store or plumbing store or at the gas station focused on simple things—their health, or the weather, or their family or things of nature.  For example, it was not uncommon to see little groups of three or four men (some of whom were clearly unemployed) standing around in their dirty blue jeans and boots wearing plaid or checkered shirts and a baseball cap staring under the hood of a truck, and talking about the displacement of the engine of their own dirty pickup trucks parked nearby, or looking at a stack of car tires, or talking of the weather and the depth of the snowpack or the upcoming fishing season.  Women, when you saw them, sadly and often looked more bedraggled or beaten down than women one might see in towns or in business establishments.  I guess the women were inside their homes, and I would guess watching television, for I saw few in yards or the small stores I visited.  And (I hate to say it) both men and women seemed to be very unattractive in terms of physical condition or grooming. Overfat and unhealthy-looking people were the norm.  Overheard public language (from both genders) also seemed more crude or unrefined. People, in general, seemed less well educated than those on the coast.

But, on the upside, these people seemed to have an independence of spirit and appeared to be proud of their freedoms and of living in America.  The old symbols of patriotism seemed more alive than in the more urbane area in which I live. I observed and sensed a distinct regional character—an old American character, but sadly one in which the old “American dream” seemed to burn less brightly.  

  

Yet for all of the differences between up-country living and that where I am from, I enjoyed being in the up-country—the beauty of it if one did not look to closely, the sounds and smells of nature and the smoke of a wood fire rising from a chimney, the inherent serenity of clouds, sunrise, sunset, and starlit night or hearing a dog or coyote barking in a distant canyon.  And the people, one-on-one, seemed decent and were courteous to one who was an obvious ‘outsider.’  Of that I was appreciative, and I tried to be likewise.

All of us—at least those of us who are citizens—are Americans in our own way.  We can all learn from each other.  

GETTING STRONGER

There are ‘product’ people and there are ‘process’ people.  A product person is one who basks in the end result—the product—of effort—like winning the contest or achieving top market share, or being judged # 1 in whatever they had set out to accomplish.  A process person, by contrast, is one who enjoys the struggle on the road to success maybe more than the victory itself.  For me, I enjoy the process; that is why I love to practice, to work out, to research and write the talk or the article, to take the hike sometimes even more than arriving at the destination—because destinations are not permanent—they are just stepping-stones to further growth.

Becoming Strong is a Process

I believe that every person has or once had a desire to be as fit or attractive or strong as was the person or the ideal they admired.  They soon learned, however, that they, themselves, had some limitations.  Money, time, anatomical structure or other circumstances would put limits on their aspirations. If not these, age eventually would. Or other interests would change their focus.  Or maybe their self-imposed limitation was their ignorance that the ‘product’ they desired (an improved self) was achieved by a process that needed to be understood and adhered to.

But assuming that most people would like to be strong as they could be, regardless of their age, I would like to suggest that many who actually do submit to a training regime leave out a key component of success. That component or ingredient is the need to take recovery as seriously as they do their training or the vision of their goal.

A person does not get stronger when they train; they get stronger when they recover from hard training. 

The Stress, Recovery, Adaptation Cycle

When the body is exposed to stress (physical or mental), it will begin a biological process to deal with that stress, recover from it, and then adapt and compensate so that it is better prepared to handle it if exposed to the same or similar stressors again.

When it comes to getting strong, your training is the stress.  And according to the Stress-Adaptation-Recovery Cycle, you’re not getting stronger while you’re exposed to the stress; in fact, when you lift weights (whether of iron or your own body weight) the stress it produces causes the microfibers of your muscles to tear and break down if your workout is of sufficient intensity.  Indeed, you are temporarily weaker.  The more fibers that are engaged—the harder you train—the stronger you become provided you allow the muscle to recover between exercise bouts.  And recovery itself is a process.  You get stronger when you rest and refuel—the day (at least) or two or three you need to recover and repair and rebuild your muscle fibers and supporting tissues. This process makes the person stronger than they were before.

Resting and Refueling

Besides intense workouts, there are two things you need to make your recovery effective: proper nutrition and sleep.

Food. To build itself back up and adapt to the stress of training, your body requires plenty of fuel.  You need to eat good food and lots of it, especially if you are desirous of putting on muscular body weight. Be especially meticulous about getting enough protein each day: at least one gram per pound of body weight. Egg whites and fish are especially good sources of protein. Non-sugary dairy products are also good. (Examples of sugary dairy products are milk shakes and ice cream.)  Avoid processed food!  Eat plenty of vegetables and fruits, grains and nuts.  And drink lots of water. The reason most men stall in their training is that they’re not eating enough food—they are worried about getting fat. But you get fat by eating fat—or by not exercising enough.  You get fat by taking in more calories than you burn.   If you’re looking to get stronger, you must not neglect your nutrition. If you want to get ‘shredded’ (a high definition muscular appearance) you’ve got to do everything I’ve said above but just take in a little less total volume of food and put in a few more reps or a little more time into your workout.

Sleep. Sleep plays a vital role in our recovery from exercise. When we enter the deep sleep state, our pituitary gland releases a pulse of human growth hormone to help with tissue repair and growth. When we enter REM sleep, testosterone levels increase, which also aids in tissue repair and growth. Aim for 7-9 hours of sleep per night.  As you get older you sleep less at night so try to get in a short nap during the day if, like me, you are over 50.  Avoid caffeine late in the day or—better yet—eliminate it altogether. Avoid screens (phone, tv, computer) at least a half an hour before bed. Sleep in a dark, cool room. Don’t do heavy workouts too late in the evening—it raises metabolism, sometimes for a couple of hours, which is good for fat burning, but it also keeps you awake until it slows down to your normal rate.

Remember, you don’t get stronger when you train. You get stronger when you recover. So take the time you spend in bed and at the table just as seriously as the time you spend in the gym!

OBEDIENCE TO THE UNENFORCEABLE

In sport, on the road, in business, in marriage, in your private moments, your integrity is based more on what can’t always be monitored, observed, judged, or refereed than what can be. Contrary to what one may think, “Western societies are not held together primarily by the overall enforcement of laws, which would be impractical, but most important by citizens who voluntarily obey the unenforceable because of their internal norms of correct behavior” (Dallin H. Oaks). Voluntary self-regulation among the majority is critical to a stable society and the institutions in it. I wonder if we stress this enough in our homes and schools today?

The value of understanding the principle of self-regulation has been noted by the wise among us for centuries.  I came upon the title to my comments today by reading a statement by Lord John Fletcher Moulton, the great English jurist who wrote that democracy will only flourish in a nation to “the extent of obedience to the unenforceable.”  Even the French concurred—Alexis de Tocqueville likewise observed this characteristic attitude of the early American nation.  As our nation gets closer to the brink I wonder how many people still subscribe to these fundamental norms guiding civil and personal behavior?

A well-educated Chinese visitor recently noted the following about America:

“In your past, most Americans attended a church or synagogue every week. These were institutions that people respected. At church, from their youngest years, Americans were taught to voluntarily obey the law; to respect other people’s property, and not steal it. Americans were taught never to lie. Americans followed these rules because they had come to believe that even if the police or court systems didn’t catch them when they broke a law, God would catch them and hold them accountable. Democracy works [in America] because most people most of the time voluntarily obey the laws.”  He went on to say, “democracy-enabling religions are those that support the sanctity of life, the equality of people, the importance of respecting others’ property, and of personal honesty and integrity” (Linkedin, 14 June 2016, “Religion is the Foundation of Democracy and Prosperity” by Clayton Christensen).

The best places to teach our children these principles and values are in the home, in our churches, and in our institutions such as in boy scouts and girl scouts, and yes, in the schools and in youth athletics.  These things are part of the life-long responsibilities of all adults—direct teaching and modeling.   Don’t leave it up to cartoon television shows and the morality of ‘friends’ on Facebook to be the teachers of those who most need direct teaching to establish responsible lives.  

THE PAIN OF THE HUMAN (Young Adult) CONDITION

In recent months I have directed much of my reading to going back over what I have read previously by the Pulitzer and Nobel prize-winning author John Steinbeck (1902-1968).

I am not a fan of Steinbeck’s politics, personal life or morality, but he was a fine novelist (as many writers of great literature really are) and showed great insight as he looked at the pain of the human condition.  Here are some things from one of his writings he said that I, too, think a lot about and wonder how true, in 2018, they might still be:

“During the years 1930 to 1940, the nation was preoccupied with . . . difficulties [of the Great Depression and impending war between other nations], not impossible of solution, but requiring thought and trial and error and some conflict. It is not possible to know whether a solution could have been reached. But during that period when a direction had not been set, nor an end established, a generation of young men and young women were kept marking time, not knowing where they were going; in fact, concerned only with keeping alive until some direction was established toward which they could go. Young men coming out of the schools, finding no jobs, having no goals, became first despondent and then cynical . . . the product of mental and physical idleness, [which] descended upon the youth of the country. An anarchy of thought and action had in fact settled over the young people of the country.

An antidote for the poisons of this idleness and indirection might eventually have been found . . . some economic direction or trend to tear away the lethargy. But meanwhile, with one set of certainties gone and no new set established, the country floundered about--floundered about in fact so convincingly that our enemies considered us to be in a dying condition [and vulnerable]. Some of our leaders wished to cut the world in half—to defend this hemisphere against the other [nations, economically and culturally by a policy of isolation ]. . . .

Our arguments and disunity might have kept us ineffective or only partly effective until it was too late. But Germany and Japan were bound to blunder sooner or later, and blunder they did. In attacking us they destroyed their greatest ally, our sluggishness, our selfishness, and our disunity.” John Steinbeck, Bombs Away: The Story of a Bomber Team (1942).

What is now, 2018, causing the angst that I so often sense among many young men of our generation?  Is it money problems or economic insecurity? A lack of marriage prospects or of rewarding relationships? Dissatisfaction with work? Problems at home? Fear of the future? Lack of a strong religious faith? Disillusionment with government? What is it, or is everything just great?  I think it is not. Social statistics show that it is not.

Arguably, there are some things most of us individually cannot do much to control: political or foreign policy issues, climate change, world health concerns, financial market volatility, organized crime, etc. But there are things we can do about most of our personal issues and anxieties. They can be managed much better if we would just maintain a balance between our 4,5, or 6 critical dimensions (it depends on who you listen to—I believe there are least 6 elements).  These dimensions of happiness and wellness: our physical (nutrition, exercise, sleep habits), emotional, spiritual, social, intellectual, and occupational/financial prospects.

 

If you are not happy or well chances are great that at least one dimension is out-of-balance or completely lacking. These things can be handled. Talk to someone who knows about the dimensions of a balanced life—and then make the changes!

I hope it is not another war that causes us to rally and break our current cycle of discontent. We can and must be proactive!

MY SADDEST DAY

This is a religious essay because my thoughts for days have been riveted on this most religiously centered week of the year for the Christian world.  And it comes to a point this day.  It is tendered to bring some understanding to my friends who are not Christians or those who are but whose faith has grown dim.  I do this also in memoria and in gratitude for the man Jesus, who I consider to be the Redeemer and Savior of this world.

It starts with ‘when,’ and it ends with ‘why.’

Today is Friday, March 30, 2018.  It is 1:00 p.m. Tomorrow, Saturday, for us, will begin at 12:00:00 midnight.  For the Hebrews, it also is Friday, but their ‘tomorrow’ begins at dusk, not long after sundown today—when three ‘stars’ can become observable or, some say, the moment when a hair from the head held at arm’s length appears to change color from dark to light.

My point in bringing this up is that as a Christian the saddest day for me, as measured by Hebrew time, occurred during that 24 hour period that began not long after sunset on Thursday of this week, about 2,000 years ago, when Jesus went into the Garden of Gethsemane to consummate the essence of His mission at the base of the Mount of Olives outside Jerusalem. It ended, for Him, at about 3:00 p.m. on Friday when he died on the cross after being crucified. That entire time was a time of great suffering for Him, the most innocent man.

What happened to Him in the Garden of Gethsemane at the beginning of what we call the Atonement of Jesus Christ and at the end of this period, His death by crucifixion, was done for all of mankind as God’s great gift—what Christians call ‘grace’ for a fallen world.  It would bring immortality for all people, and an even greater ‘reward’ for those who had faith in Christ, who did their own repentance, and who would keep the commandments of God.  It paid the price required by Eternal law for the breaking of this law by all accountable persons.   It was done out of love—the sheer love of a Father and His most beloved Son for His other children (us)—not necessarily out of their love for Him.  And it was rejected, ironically, or counted but myth by most of God’s children.

It is the saddest day for me because of the physical and emotional anguish it cost Him, and because so many of the world’s population have rejected this GIFT of gifts.  It was heart-breaking for Him as well.  He wept as He came to Jerusalem for the last time as a mortal man: “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered your children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!  Behold, your house is left unto you desolate” (Matthew 23:37-38).

 

Still, He atoned for all of them.  “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13).

 

Even non-scripture writers have sensed the pathos of this: “For of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, it might have been.” (John Greenleaf Whittier)

 It breaks my heart. 

GIVING AND RECEIVING

I remember my mother, or mother-in-law, or someone saying caustically, “I’d like to give him a piece of my mind!”  I knew what she meant by the way she said it, as you probably did when you heard it.  I have often thought, since, that I too would like to give another person “. . .a piece of my mind,” –but in an entirely different sense.  I have tried to do that over the past few years by giving to my readers my thoughts—a piece of my mind—in these postings.

For that reason, as far as I can tell, I have had for years a difficult time during the Christmas season because of the cultural norm of giving material gifts which clashes with my desire to give decidedly immaterial gifts.  A gift should reflect something that pleases both the giver and the receiver—and it doesn’t have to come in a box.

 

I suppose it started when I read one of my intellectual icons, Ralph Waldo Emerson, who wrote an essay titled “Gifts.”   He said,

“Next to things of necessity, the rule for a gift. . . is that we might convey to some person that which properly belonged to his character, and was easily associated with him in thought.  But our tokens of compliment and love are for the most part barbarous.  Rings and other jewels are not gifts, but apologies for gifts.  The only gift is a portion of thyself.  Thou must bleed for me.  Therefore the poet brings his poem; the shepherd, his lamb; the farmer, corn, . . . the painter, his picture; the girl, a handkerchief of her own sewing.  This is right and pleasing . . . . But it is a cold, lifeless business when you go to the shops to buy me something, which does not represent your life and talent, but a goldsmith’s.” 

The incident at the gate of the temple with the apostles Peter and John interacting with the beggar illustrates this well.  The lame man asked an alms of the apostles.  Their response was exactly what was most appropriate to the situation.  Find out what that was by reading from the Bible,  Acts 3:1-8.  And he, the receiver of the gift, was likewise appropriate in his response.

John Steinbeck, a famous author who left a legacy in where I live, wrote of a friend of his (and a friend of many others) who, despite this man’s many eccentricities and moral failings knew how to give the gift of himself.  Steinbeck wrote:

 “Ed’s gift for receiving made him a great teacher [and friend].  In conversation you found yourself telling him things—thoughts, conjectures, hypotheses—and you found a pleased surprise at yourself for having arrived at something you were not aware that you could think or know.  It gave you such a good sense of participation with him that you could present him with this wonder.  Then Ed would say, “Yes, that’s so.  That’s the way it might be and besides—” and he would illuminate it but not so that he took it away from you.  He simply accepted it.”  Then, “When you had something from him it was not something that was his that he tore away from himself.  When you had a thought from him or a piece of music. . . or a steak dinner, it was not his—it was yours already, and his was only the head and hand that steadied it in position toward you.  For this reason no one was ever cut off from him.  Association with him was deep participation. . . .” 

So, if you don’t get a gift (a material gift) from me don’t think too ill of me, and I won’t of you because I am simply on a different wavelength from the norm—if you didn’t already know!  You have received my gift.  Merry (better yet a sacred) Christmas to you!

SEXUAL MISCONDUCT

It goes by many names: misconduct; harassment; victimization; assault; abuse; boys being ‘fresh’; ‘boys being boys’; boys being jerks; etc.

These are euphemisms, what the dictionary calls the substitution of a mild or indirect expression for one unpleasant or offensive.  To get right down to it, it is rape.  Rape cannot be just of a woman’s body, it can also be of her spirit or her identity.  It is terribly wrong. 

When I think of young women being raped or enslaved in sex trafficking I think of Elizabeth Smart who was abducted in 2002 and raped every day for 9 months straight by an evil man named Brian David Mitchell before finally being rescued.  I was glad to see that her abductor was given two life sentences in the penitentiary. I would have given him some 'cruel and unusual punishment' as well if it was in my power to do so--as it is in a few countries.  Worldwide girls who are abducted for sex slaves are, in reality, being raped many times a day before being completely ruined or killed by their 'handlers.'  

I applaud women who have suffered probably less traumatic abuse for finally coming forth and identifying the men who have so damaged their lives. These men need help and to be brought to justice when they have gone over the line.

  

It seems that men who perceive they have some kind of power over women are the kind of men who do these things.  They seem to think that their celebrity or position entitles them to take advantage of a physically or emotionally vulnerable or some perceived weaker human being—women usually, sometimes children.  I am appalled by these men—they are a disgrace to the male gender.

   

As for the women, they too can be faulted for misconduct if they in any way encourage a man’s inappropriate advances.  They must know that men are easily encouraged. Encouragement, of course, does not give license, but it sends a signal that many men of whatever age interpret as ‘go.’ I think many women underestimate an undisciplined (by honor, or religion, or recognition of a girl’s or woman’s personal rights) man’s attraction to the female body.

 

Far too many women, today, do this by their revealing dress.  You see it everywhere.  Look at women on talk show television; there it is really a leg show.  Women in everyday dress now reveal their breasts to a degree women even 25 years ago would rarely have done.  And, of course, now ‘augmentation’ (surely for male visual consumption) is commonplace.  Women on television dance shows or ‘talent’ shows usually dress and often act very immodestly. Even for athletic events such as beach volleyball or track and field sprint races or gymnastics or even golf women dress in ways that are not at all necessary for good athletic performance.  ‘Fitness clothing’ at gyms is often quite immodest.  Most of today’s prom dresses are likewise an invitation for young men to make an advance.

I think women must ask themselves why they are doing these things before presenting themselves in an alluring way before men and then getting nervous or not knowing what to do when men respond.  Add to this flirtatious behavior and the fire is stoked for men.  They take it as an invitation.  Or, they just take it.

 

But back to men’s egregious behavior.  Probably in all ages of mankind has the male taken the aggressive behavior when it comes to sex.  Women must understand this and if they do not want to be taken advantage of must take protective steps.  They must have a worked-out strategy if things start to get out of hand.  They must not play with fire, regardless of who has ignited it.  

Some of those steps a woman can take are obvious: modest dress and clean language; always being in the company of trusted friends and never finding themselves alone in a car or a room or secluded place with men who they do not know very well; being in well-lighted places with others they trust; not becoming under the influence of alcohol or drugs themselves or being around others who are; not engaging in ‘entertainment’ --live or vicarious -- where others are behaving improperly such as parties, concerts, movies, videos, electronic entertainment including suggestive music, and any books or magazines with pornographic content.

The best thing men can do is to not engage in anything that stimulates them to focus or fantasize on women in an inappropriate way.  They must develop and then quickly activate activities that cool them down.  They must also develop a general attitude of respect for women and avoid being around women who they cannot respect or who stimulate them not to respect themselves. 

I have always believed in a chivalrous code to guide a man’s behavior in relation to women.  If a man cannot attract or win a woman’s friendship or love by decent behavior he should be rejected by the women he finds himself in the presence of and they should give him no ‘privilege’ of any kind.  This includes in the workplace, in school, and in family relations (especially in some cultures the extended family). 

It can be done.  Passions can be bridled just as a horse can be bridled.  And a man can gain great power over himself in that way—power that can be used in great ways that benefit himself and others.  And good women are drawn to that kind of power—that kind of man.  In that case it’s a win-win for both, and for society!