Your Approach

I played golf yesterday and was once again reminded of how I approached the hole usually determined how I scored on the hole.  (Keep reading—this essay is not about golf; yesterday’s golf round was just the ‘experience’ that carried the ‘lesson’ that serves as a metaphor to introduce this topic from which I hope you make a helpful ‘takeaway.’ See my posting of September 23, 2015.)

 

Noting that our region of the country is suffering a drought I was aware that my approach shots—to be successful—could not come in low or hard, but instead needed to come in high and soft in order to end up near the hole, which was, of course, my objective.  A low shot might be direct and hit near the hole, but would ricochet off leaving me far from my objective and consequently hurt my score. 

 

In human relations the same holds true.  An ancient biblical proverb observes that “A soft answer turneth away wrath.” A more recent scriptural injunction tells us that “No power or influence can or ought to be maintained [by any other means]   . . .  only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, by kindness and pure knowledge, and by love unfeigned . . . .” 

 

The approach we take in interacting with others often makes a definite difference in the outcome.This is a simple lesson, but a profound truth and is my 'takeaway.'

What is your ‘takeaway’?

What's Your Takeaway?

Two thoughts have proven to me to be very helpful in the conduct of my daily life.  The first is, ‘Every experience carries its lesson.’  The second is, ‘What is my takeaway from this experience’? 

The first thought is an assumption that challenges me to look for life lessons in even the mundane day-to-day activities that we all experience.  It helps me to be a more careful observer, to pay attention to what I do and what others do in my presence. It helps me to be attentive to my environment.  It helps me to not lose my keys. 

 

As I read, it causes me to look for the message that was significant enough for the writer to include it in his/her text.  It may be a clue to a mystery—literary, scientific, or social—or it may be an answer or partial answer to some issue or concern of my life.  It may be something that I should draw to another person’s attention—who just left her keys/purse/glasses on the bench they were just occupying.  The experience may be something I needed to make me a more well-rounded person or the other person to whom I am attentive slightly more careful or focused on the things at hand. 

    

The second thought, ‘What is my takeaway from this experience?’ suggests the thing I should remember, or what evaluation I should make of what I just experienced.  It gives me an opportunity to weigh the experience in terms of what I already know, or what I should know, or how this experience validates or adds to or challenges previous assumptions or assertions.  I should store the takeaway in my mental bank to help me or others in the pale of my influence in the future. 

 

In short, the experience drives the takeaway.  And the takeaway should change us to a greater or lesser degree.  We should try to learn from every experience—positive or negative, immediate or vicarious.  And then we should be grateful to our God for allowing us to see and discriminate the good from the bad, the sweet and the bitter, the light and the darkness, the right and the wrong, 

In moral matters, it encourages us to ‘choose the right’ and not just ‘go with the flow.’ 

What is your ‘takeaway’ from having just experienced reading this little essay—this advice from the ‘old school?’

The Heart of the Matter

I have pondered the lyrics to the popular Don Henley song, “The Heart of the Matter,” and find some of them very provocative in illuminating the issue that terminates so many otherwise promising relationships.  I quote a portion of those lyrics below:

I thought of all the bad luck,
and the struggles we went through
And how I lost me and you lost you
What are those voices outside love's open door
Make us throw off our contentment
and beg for something more?

I've been tryin' to get down
to the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak
and my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

These times are so uncertain
There's a yearning undefined
...people filled with rage . . .
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age?

The trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness
They're the very things we kill, I guess . . .
Pride and competition
cannot fill these empty arms
And the work I put between us  
doesn't keep me warm

I've been trying to get down
to the heart of the matter
But everything changes
and my friends seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

There are people in your life who've come and gone
They let you down and hurt your pride
Better put it all behind you; life goes on
[For if] You keep carryin' that anger, it'll eat you up inside

I've been trying to get down
to the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak
and my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me

I've been tryin' to get down
to the heart of the matter
Because the flesh will get weak
and the ashes will scatter
So I'm thinkin' about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me

(Writer(s): Don Henley, John Souther, Mae Axton, Tommy Durden, Elvis Presley, Don Wayne
Copyright: Emi Harmonies Ltd., Emi Blackwood Music Inc., Woody Creek Music, Coal Miners Music Inc.)

It is about forgiveness—and the pride that keeps it from happening. We must forgive if we, too, are to be forgiven.