The Human Experience

I have wondered about a title for this, what I hope will be one of my more significant essays.  I have thought of ‘Life Lived’; ‘The Agony and the Ecstasy’; ‘The Measure of Our Creation’ and other such titles.  What I have settled upon is ‘The Human Experience,’ which, I believe, incorporates all of what I want us to think about today.  (The title is comprehensive; the treatment of a little essay on a big subject will, alas, not be.  But our personal pursuit of understanding is unlimited; it is up to us.)

I think that when one comes to an understanding or appreciation that ‘there must needs be an opposition in all things’ and that there is ‘a pattern in all things’ is when human enlightenment begins to occur.  I further believe that the process of learning these things is an important part of a ‘core curriculum’ of a mature life.

One of my favorite university teachers and authors, the late Stephen R. Covey, has written that for a person who has been privileged to live a long, and by our standards fairly normal life, that life might well be defined by the fulfillment of what became his four (or five) ‘L’s’: “to Live, to Learn, to Love, and to Leave a Legacy.” I do not dispute that breakdown, and it should be deeply pondered, but I do think the list should be considerably expanded.

I believe that the generally universal human experience will necessarily include, in addition, or by extension, such things as suggested by the title of author Irving Stone’s great biographical novel of Michelangelo, The Agony and the Ecstasy.  The human experience of a full life will include both—agony of a physical or spiritual or psychical nature—perhaps endured many times, and ecstasy—a fullness of joy perhaps experienced only a few times even in a long lifetime.  But virtually all will experience these extremes.  Our response to pleasure and pain seem necessary to a mature life. Acceptance-rejection; creation-failure; victory-defeat, the pretentions of pride-the hurt of humility, the list goes on and on.

There are many such dichotomies.  Let me suggest a few of what I believe are a few of the most important life lessons that may not often be considered. 

      

I believe that the intended human experience will include a time of living ‘under obedience,’ or at least counsel: external submission either imposed—as, for example, by parents or teachers; by training or organizational rules; by medical order or necessity; or by religious covenant.  Or the obedience may be more internal-- to self-discipline by obedience to conscience or perceived moral principles.  It may also be of a more optional nature-- the self-obedience may be a part of a desire to achieve excellence in some field.  Submission or obedience should not be blind acquiescence, but rather confident faith in an end-directed attitude of hope and accomplishment.

The full human experience will include times of deprivation and of satiety.  To be poor at some time in every life may be necessary as much as to be rich may be desired.  To come to be satisfied with our lot in life or to be at peace may be better than either.

 

I believe that hard work—physical, mental or probably both is important to engage in as long as possible. In fact it became a divinely-dictated necessity very shortly after the beginning of human experience on this planet if you believe, as I do, the Adam and Eve analogue or antecedent.  Hard work is a discipline as important as the food we eat. I don’t think that retirement as practiced by just rocking on the porch or playing golf or cards every day or lying on the beach, or the like, is a productive or acceptable way to live out one’s last days (or even childhood, or adolescent days) on earth.

Fear and deliverance, recognition of our own weakness, hopelessness and redemption are huge parts of the human experience.  Perspective and appreciation for the role of our Redeemer is a critically important learning.

To expand on Covey’s imperative of ‘Love,’ which, I believe is the same as the scriptural imperative of the principle of ‘charity’ in all its breadth and depth, I believe that all lives were meant to enjoy this quintessential human experience.  To love and be loved is to be sought for, because not only is God ‘love’ and He desires us to be like Him, He meant for His children to be endued with and saturated with and expressive of love because it is the engine that drives the world.  We should try to make a difference for the good in another person’s life, and by doing so our own life will be enriched by its reciprocal.  To give happiness and security to another person produces its own reward for ourselves. 

A subset of love is sexual expression.  Appropriate and natural, unforced and unregretted sexual expression within the bounds that our Lord has set is an important life experience—a creative and satisfying and sustaining experience—that marriage can provide for a man and woman.  To be a parent as an outgrowth of love and sexual expression is certainly an important part, I believe, of the human experience.

   

To restate, we need to understand the bitter and the sweet, the good and the bad, the desirable and the undesirable, either directly or by learning through the teachings or experiences of others.  By being teachable we can learn vicariously without actually suffering some of the negative which must be learned, one way or the other, by ourselves.

  

On a related vein, I think it is a desecration of life to do anything to one’s body or mind or spirit (or do it to anyone else’s for that matter) that compromises or harms it intentionally or by neglect.  And I believe our stewardship extends to the planet itself.

It should be noted that not one of the things mentioned above could not or will not be done—maybe not willingly or by desire, but necessarily—by our own actions or by being acted upon, in some life-stage by virtually everyone.  “Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you” (1 Peter 4:12).  It takes cutting and grinding and polishing to make a diamond a gem. 

 

There are more ingredients to a life fully lived, but this is a start, and I invite the reader to seriously explore them.  Great art, music, literature, philosophy, and true religion is out there to give direction, example, and answers.

Neither affluence nor deprivation, gender, race, or place of origin, education or natural gifts, geography or anything else I could think of should make a difference in our attitude toward our life circumstances.  No one will have an equal opportunity or equal challenges or will be dealt the same deck of cards: but we can all make the most of what we’ve been given.  There are numerous examples of exemplary people who are blind, deaf, poor, imprisoned, maimed, deprived, misunderstood or persecuted who have enriched their own lives and, by their example, the lives of innumerable others. They have thus ‘met the measure of their own creation’ and can/will have joy as much as those who might live what we view as a ‘charmed’ life.  In reality, even the perceived ‘charmed’ will also experience all of the bitter as well as the sweet as the rest of us.  The rain (and hail) fall on the just as well as on the unjust.  And it's not over until it's over.

 

There is, indeed and by necessity, an opposition in all things—and we should not bemoan it.  It is, as my first wife wisely said not long before she died, “the small print” in the contract for our turn on earth. 

 

Carpe diem, but don’t lose hope or fail to make preparation for what could be for you and for me a glorious future.

Clichés Revisited

In an early weblog posting I confessed to being fascinated by the clichés we (some of us) use.  I argued for the serious contemplation of some of these homilies because I was, and still am, convinced that many contain truths that might well benefit us if we applied them.  I know, of course, that many clichés can be easily confounded or countered by other clichés, but the wholesale dismissal of common aphorisms, maxims, disparagingly called ‘old wives tales,’ or other supposedly trite sayings have  disadvantaged many people in the ‘common sense’ department or at least impoverished their general education.

 

I am not suggesting that one take a college course in clichés, but I am suggesting that much of our culture and a greater understanding of our ancestors’ or societal norms and values are embedded in some of these ‘old school’ sayings. 

A few of these clichés that have been validated by serious research are as follows:

·        Laughter is the best medicine.

     The healing powers of laughter have gained considerable credibility in scientific studies of healthy aging, lower stress levels, better sleep quality, and diabetic lower blood sugar levels.

  

·        The early bird catches the worm.

     ‘Morning people’ have consistently, as a rule, performed better academically (have higher g.p.a.’s and do better in advanced classes), have more success in life, and have better, less self-limiting or self-destructive personality traits.

·        Old habits die hard.

     “We are what we repeatedly do.  Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.” –Aristotle.  Obviously, never introduce to yourself something that you don’t want to have stay with you forever. The brain neuro-chemical dopamine is released and is a powerful reinforcer for habits—good and bad.

  

·        A picture is worth a thousand words

     Images are more easily remembered than words.  Researchers have found that about 65-70% of people are visual learners.  (Not me, however; I relate much better with rich language because I ponder the meaning and nuances that more exact language provides and suggests.  I always enjoy books more than the movies made of them.)

·        When the going gets tough, the tough get going.

     There is a power of psychological resilience.  Evidence shows that the more often people rise to challenges (and the sooner they pick themselves up after they fall) the tougher they become and more able to handle subsequent challenges.

   

·        A watched pot never boils.

    Well, of course it boils, and just as rapidly as an unwatched pot.  But the point is that time is psychologically perceived as slowing down.  So stay engaged with something more productive than just watching heating pots or waiting for the phone to ring and time seems to go much more quickly. (Whip out your pocket card of quotations, scriptures, formulas, etc. you want to memorize while standing in line or watching pots. I guess people now do this with their ubiquitous cell phones.)

 

Finally, I further confess that I occasionally pick up a dictionary or book of common quotations or clichés  just for the sheer pleasure of reading things that I wish I had learned earlier in my life.  It is an expansive (not expensive) habit that easily trumps the banal or unproductive habits that many fall into.

A Principle -Governed Life

My brethren in Church and I were recently discussing the difference between being principle-directed or being rule-directed in the conduct of our lives.  It was clearly the consensus that being required to adhere to a rigid rule-directed life was much more onerous than the liberation experienced by those who knew and lived the guiding principles from which specific rules were derived. 

 

The rule-directed life of the Orthodox Jew, for example, may, as intended, provide very clear direction on specific challenges or life situations, especially if the person were living in antiquity or in an all-Orthodox community.  Of course many commandments are applicable for any age of man, whether for Jew or Gentile, such as the commandment not to kill or not to insult or harm anybody with words.   But many of the 613 identified rules or commandments in the Torah are now obsolete—e.g., those regarding slaves, animal sacrifices, etc.  They were given by God to a people who had lived under bondage and who needed the specificity of direction of rules until they had matured enough to follow a prophet's counsel and thereby make appropriate personal application to the principles from which the rule grew.

So too in George Washington's 110 'Rules of Civility and Decent Behaviour." I think that most people of maturity would understand the principle and not, today, need his rule number six: "Sleep not when others speak, sit not when others stand, speak not when you should hold your peace, walk not on when others stop."

 

For the young or immature or for situations that can brook no tolerance for deviation, rules have their place.  Sports rules are common examples in our time.

As a public school teacher I found it necessary to have a list of classroom rules that were often quite specific.  They were necessary because  I could not generally  count on the maturity level of the students to make the leap to applying the principle (e.g., the rule, “Do not touch other people or their property without their permission” would be more necessary for young children than the principle from which it derives: the so-called Golden Rule, or principle of doing unto others only what you would wish having done unto you).  The rule, in this case, automatically applied the higher principle.  But we all know that even supposedly responsible adults need rules: “Speed limit 35 m.p.h” contrasted to the more maturely understood principle of “Drive at a safe speed for the conditions.”  The principle, however, would not suffice for the need for a very specific rule such as "Drive on the right side of the road."

 

Rules, by design, offer little choice: either one obeys them or disobeys.  They are specific. They are applied equally to every individual irrespective of the motivation of the rule keeper or violator.  In that regard they are ‘fair,’ more easily enforced, and so, important, to the immature.

  

Principles, on the other hand, are more general, universal, timeless, and self-evident.  They include such things as responsibility, integrity, mutual respect, moral authority, love, the inseparability of ends and means, and the intrinsic value of life.  

If one understands and applies the larger principle, the practices begin to fall into place.

All this leads me to wondering if in all of our rule-making we might always try to make clear the principle that is at its root: the ‘why,’ not just the ‘what’ or how. 

   

Discover and apply the ‘principles of life’ to your life.  A principle-guided life is much more satisfying and growth-promoting than the alternative.