BOOKS and a BOOK

I don’t remember having a book in our home as a boy until I was about seven or eight years old (although we probably did).  But then I had a teacher in my elementary school—was it Mrs. Collins in the 4^th grade or Mrs. Phelen in the 5^th?—who read to us in class and the world opened up to me. 

I soon had a library card and I used it. . .and used it. . . and used it. Not long after that, my Mom or Dad must have had some regrets about my education and attempted to rectify the situation by buying for my brothers and me a brand new set of the Encyclopaedia Britannica.  The set of scholarly volumes was for people above my age and overwhelmed me and regretfully I hardly used it—even when I grew to be able to.  But there were other books. . . .

When someone tells me they are ‘not a reader,’ I tell them they just haven’t yet found the right book. Ask a librarian and people who are readers for book lists and recommendations and your life, too, will expand.

Since then I have read literally hundreds and hundreds of books on my own as well as probably hundreds of others in part in pursuing my formal education. I have enjoyed many authors, been challenged and well-educated by many others, and read some titles many more times than once.  In short, my life has been greatly enriched by those who knew much more than me, and had the wisdom to put down in print their learning for others.

Yesterday I finished reading a book that opened my eyes to a reality around all of us that I had frankly given less thought than I should have.  It is the true story about a homeless man living in the Skid Row of downtown Los Angeles.  I knew that many (probably most) homeless people were on the streets because of really poor choices in getting involved with drugs and alcohol.  Some, though, have had brain trauma or neurochemical imbalances, like Nathaniel Anthony Ayers, who is there because of mental illness over which he has no control. 

Mr. Ayers had been a brilliant and very talented music student at the Julliard School of Music in New York City but while there suffered a mental breakdown diagnosed as schizophrenia.  His life took a quick turn downward. This is a condition characterized by a loss of control of thought processes and inappropriate emotional responses.  Such people are often confused, disoriented, and their mind is cluttered with images, delusions, and thoughts over which they have no control.

The book (and movie which I did not see) about Nathaniel Ayers describes the profound challenges of a person so afflicted, and the homeless—and hopeless—environment to which so many are reduced.  Ayers, like many, never did fully recover, but his life and many others like him have been made easier by the efforts of many good people and organizations. 

If you read this book, The Soloist, by journalist Steve Lopez, you will likely be a changed person unless you, yourself have spent some time on the streets and already know the plight of the homeless.  It is a frank and brutal book—shocking in places--and should increase your understanding and compassion for people who are our community neighbors whom we often simply ignore.  It will show you what you can do about mental health problems and similar problems and what you cannot do.  Many people so afflicted you cannot help, but you will have tried and view the problem differently.  And in the trying you will see that you are a changed person for the better.  

THRIVING vs. ENDURING

An alumnus at my university, Professor Stacy Taniguchi, has made a name and an intentional [yes, this is the correct word], self-actualized life for himself by a process of selecting 100 goals that he felt he would like to accomplish in this life.  He did not just want to ‘endure,’ but to thrive. Many of Dr. Taniguchi’s goals resonated with me because many of his values resonated with me.  One’s goals cannot be discordant with his values if he or she hope to achieve them and have them be meaningful. 

Knowing your governing values and the principles that guide your choices—knowing yourself, who you are and what you stand for—is  critical to living an intentional, fulfilling life.  This approach is not a new idea: Socrates and Plato—“know thyself,” Lao Tzu and Shakespeare, “to thine own self be true,” and Jesus in bringing His “more abundant life” to those willing to receive it, all taught this idea as did many other lesser luminaries who preached this doctrine and related dicta.

  

But back to Taniguchi. . . .   He said that what he came up with over a period of twenty plus years is not a ‘bucket list’ (what you want to see, do, or visit before you ‘kick the bucket’); this is a list you use to plan to live.  These are thought-out meaningful experiences you want to accomplish or that help you to achieve your potential or identify who you really are—to get to what philosopher Immanuel Kant called your “sublime nature.”  These achieved or seriously attempted goals require a risk to be taken that will “peel back all the layers you’ve covered yourself with—your job title, your degrees, the car you drive,” your awards, your material accumulations, the masks you wear—everything— to get to your core, your authentic self.

Stacy Taniguchi teaches his course in this approach to living to help his students define success.  A value of his own (he does not try to direct anyone to try his as a one-size-fits-all goals or values list) is what the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche called the “eternal recurrence of the same”—the idea that one should live one’s life in the manner that he or she would be willing to relive the same life over and over again, no changes—hopefully no regrets. 

For purposes of illustration, a few of his other personal goals that he felt would contribute to a meaningful life were/are to be happily married, to become a good father, climbing Mounts Everest and Denali, earning a doctorate, coaching a national team, scuba diving at the Great Barrier Reef, building a house, finding God, and 90 others.

As you can see, if you were to try to adopt this approach to living you would have to give serious thought to your list; you couldn’t knock it off in one sitting—it was not meant to do that. It might take years, as it took him and many goals are never ‘finished,’ but rather continue to develop and perfect the seeker.   

In order to undertake such an approach to life as he has, Dr. Taniguchi identifies the following rules to guide any so persuaded by his example:

100 Goals List Rules

Decide to Thrive. “It is a choice,” says Taniguchi. “You have to decide whether you want to endure or thrive in this life, and if you want to thrive, then you have got to prioritize it.”

Know Your Governing Values. “What I don’t want you to put down on your list is, ‘I want to try everything,’” says Taniguchi. “Put things on your list that bring you closer to your values.” Equally important: “Don’t put anything on your list that is in conflict with your values.”

Choose Wisely. It’s not easy to come up with 100 goals—it took Taniguchi years. “Usually people stall out around 20 or 30,” he says. “Then it gets harder to think through.” A question he often gets: Can the list be retrospective? “Absolutely.” Meaningful things you’ve already accomplished—add them.

You Can’t Take Anything Off. “If it was important to you at one point, then it meant something to you,” he says. He tells the story of a client he led up Denali who, diagnosed with terminal cancer months before the trip, about cancelled. Taniguchi got him to the top. “It didn’t prevent him from dying, but it changed his life.” The guy came home from Denali, got re-engaged and married, finished his last cases at work—he went out living. “Even if, 20 years from now, you look back and go, ‘I don’t know if I really want to do that one thing on my list anymore,’ it may be the one experience that was what Denali was for him.”

Better Yourself, Uplift Others. With each accomplishment you want to add, Taniguchi says you should ask two questions: “Will this make me a better person?” and “Will this help me uplift and have a positive effect on others?” “If you take the time to better yourself, to challenge yourself, you are going to be a better instrument in [God’s] hands.”

Take Some Risks. Add things that will stretch you, make you feel a touch awkward, whether it’s feeling like a stranger in a foreign land or trying to learn something new or tackling a fear. Those vulnerable moments will give you glimpses of your sublime nature, says Taniguchi.

It is often said, ‘Good luck!’  I would say, as did this master, ‘Good Life!’

THE CHOICE OF ABORTION

Ask yourself—whether you are a pregnant woman or the man who got her pregnant or someone who could influence an elected ‘lawmaker’—this question: What is a more important ‘human right’ than the right to live? If you sincerely believe life is a right, understand that there is a corresponding ‘wrong’ to take life. Since you are privileged to yet be alive you can consider the question—right or wrong as pertaining to the choice to abort.

Who is more deserving—has a right to live—a baby (whether birthed or yet-to-be-born who has done nothing to harm or take from society) or one who consents to kill, or pays to have killed (or takes ‘welfare services’ to kill) so their own life is not ‘inconvenienced’? We are not talking here about ‘a woman’s own body,’ we are talking about another body, another human body, a smaller utterly defenseless human body, temporarily housed in the body of someone who almost always has made some irresponsible, not-thought-out-ahead-of-time, decisions, but who could yet make the most important decision of her life. Most women who choose to abort remain quite alive; the destroyed baby, by definition does not--the baby had no choice.   

Because a baby does not yet have ‘social utility’ does he or she (this child of God is not an ‘it’) not have an inalienable right to have a life and a voice through an advocate and the protection of a humane society?

Is there one consenter to or demander of abortion in this world willing to give up her own life in favor of allowing a new, intrinsically more worthy human being to have a chance for a life? NO!  Is there one shrill demonstrating demander who is not glad that she, herself, is alive and was not aborted?  NO! She clearly believes her life is more important. But would she consider this thought before she (either the pregnant woman or her abortion supporter) becomes a living accessory-to-the-fact of a murder?

If this pregnant desiring-t0-be aborted woman needs ‘counseling’ (and she does) before this irreversible act is done here is some free counsel from the other side and may it be heard:  Give birth, give life; give another woman who cannot have a baby, who earnestly desires to have a baby, a chance for adoption of the pregnant woman’s unwanted ‘burden,’ ‘mistake,’ or ‘inconvenience’ to love, nurture, and rear. The adoptive mother will even pay for what so many others dismissively call an ‘it.’ 

Talk about a win-win! The baby will live; a woman who can't have a child will get the privilege to rear one; the woman who thought of having the abortion will be free of a life-time of guilt and regret; and society will take a step back from the brink of destruction by not abetting, encouraging, or countenancing this crime against humanity. 

Please reconsider the gravity and scope of this most important choice!

CHOICES

"It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." (J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)

I propose at the outset of this little essay that our freedom to make ‘choices’ may be among the most fundamental purposes of life. 

The problem for most of us is that we get so entrenched in the routines we have established or we feel have been forced upon us that we too often forget or maybe never have learned that we really are free to choose what we may be.  And if you hear this assertion by people like me you don’t believe it.

Granted, we may be circumvented in the short run (by money or health or opportunity, etc.) but the potential and positive destiny that will bring us the greatest joy and good is limited or achieved by the choices we make and the actions we take within the circumstances we have been given.  (If you’ve been given lemons, make lemonade; if you’ve been given $10 you could spend it on a 900 calorie Big Mac and fries or you could buy a banana and an apple and have a drink of tap water and be on the way to losing a pound of fat and have $8 to deposit in the bank. )

I suspect that, sadly, more likely than thinking of the ‘choices’ we could make with what we do with the time we have before us as we begin a new day we immediately fall into the rut we have previously established.  Especially is that true when we pick up the morning newspaper or turn on some electronic device (television, phone, iPad) and read or see what someone else wants us to see, hear, or read. We start off our day by pushing a button on some device that subtly manipulates us instead of taking control of our day by prayer or reading or making a list of what we will do in the next sixteen or so hours that lies ahead of us.

 Freedom to choose is not a principle in a vacuum; every new day gives us freedom to choose among alternatives.  Consider some possible options:

·        We could choose to use the few minutes we have after awaking to learn something new or to be inspired by something.  We could have something right by the bed to read that we may later ponder, or discuss with our colleagues some time during the day.  We may have an ongoing project nearby that we could give 10-15 minutes to before we move on to the rest of the day. We could work on a new skill, learn a language, practice the piano,or your putting stroke or learn a song, etc., etc., etc.  

·        For breakfast we could choose to eat something that may be better for us than what we usually eat.  We could choose to throw out the stuff that we know is bad for us and that will tempt us if we leave it laying around. 

·        We could choose to spend a few minutes doing a couple of sets of some exercise or do some focused stretching.  You don’t need a gym for this. 

·        We could choose to spend less time in the shower.

·        We could write a brief thank-you note or get-well note to someone.

·        We could take three or four minutes to plan out our day.

And each of the half-dozen points we listed above are just a few suggestions we might consider before we even get started with the formalities of our day.  

Continue this approach to the use of your travel time, or work-break time, or lunch time.

How many of us are just “sittin’ on the dock of the bay—wasting time”?

We really do have more options available than we realize! 

MISSING THE MUSIC

“Ten years ago on a cold, cold, night

Someone was killed ‘neath the town hall light. . .

There were few at the scene but they all agree

That the slayer who ran looked a lot like me.”

So starts an old folk ballad written by Marijohn Wilkin-Danny Dill, titled The Long Black Veil, and powerfully sung many years ago by folk singer and actor Burl Ives. 

The rest of that song (or story) has nothing to do with where I’m going with this, but those lead lyrics do strongly suggest that something good, in our time, is being killed by the digitally (or otherwise) distracted people all around us—and maybe even by ourselves if we are among them.

 

To bring this introduction more into the context of our time consider this real-life parallel. Twelve years ago on a cold, cold, December morning on a Metro subway platform in Washington D.C., a man stood against a wall and played an impromptu solo violin concert.  There were many at this scene (estimated at over 1000 passersby) who heard, but did not hear, in that 45 minutes, what was being offered them free of charge or for a few coins dropped into a hat.

The incognito man unannounced and unidentified at the time was the world-acclaimed concert violinist Joshua Bell playing non-stop, six memorized Bach compositions, among the most intricate violin pieces ever written, on a 3.5 million dollar violin.

 

One reporter wrote of the incident: “Only six people stopped and stayed for a while.  About 20 gave him money, but continued to walk their normal pace.  He collected $32.  When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it.  No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.”

Almost no one even stopped!  They were in too big a hurry or were so distracted that they did not stop to appreciate what was really going on!

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing? 

Do we have “eyes to see and ears to hear?”  Or are we too ….

OUR TIMES and SEASONS

There is an old saying that says there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven. The challenge is to determine what season you are in or approaching in your life and how to use the time that will be allotted to you.

As I was contemplating this thought at 5:10 this morning, it came to me that time can be thought of as chunks of opportunity for your discretionary use.  This chunk of opportunity – 5 minutes, or 15, or, if you are fortunate, an hour or more will leave its own legacy depending on what it is directed to.  It can be saved and added upon and recycled in our own or another’s life or it will simply evaporate—it can be wasted.
 

So what did I do?  I got up, put on my pants, and started writing. My little ‘season’ allowed me to do this before the phone started ringing, before people showed up on my doorstep, before the business or doctor’s office opened up, before the birds needed feeding, or even the sun came up.

   

What do you want to do with your time while the season allows it? 

It may have to do with ‘goals.’  For years when I heard anyone mention ‘goals’ I dismissed it immediately because so many goals or resolutions are proposed but so soon shuttled or forgotten.  We seem to get caught in the current of life’s demands and are carried downstream toward some unsought destination that had little to do with our plans, hopes, or dreams.  Why?  Rather than act, we would be acted upon.  Anne Murray’s old song “Time, Don’t Run Out On Me” came to mind. 

Time, unless we act, will run out.

To override the otherwise inexorable inevitability I have found to be a word of wisdom a little gem of thought that was suggested by an old carpenter.  He said, if you want to build a house (or anything, I extrapolated –such as a life) start sawing.  If you want to be loved, start loving.  If you want to be smart, start reading and observing.  If you want friends, be a friend. If you have a winter of discontent, start preparing for a spring of renewal and new beginnings.

Start sawing, walking, running, serving, painting, reading, fasting, singing, working.

Just start. 

THE ONE THING

I recently took an airline flight.  On layovers between legs of the flight the one thing I do [actually one of about four things I always do] is to step into Hudson’s booksellers and see what’s on the new or best-sellers books display.  Last week I stepped in on a two-hour layover and picked up a best-seller titled The One Thing by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan.  I quickly skimmed the table of contents and speed-read parts of most of the chapters for the 3-4 minutes I could get before the cashier got nervous and started to dust the jackets of the books in the area in which I was standing while surreptitiously eying me to see if I was going to steal something.  Actually I did—I stole the idea for this essay. 

I am interested in being a better person.  I am interested in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (Stephen R. Covey).  I am interested in “Be ye therefore perfect …” (Bible, Matthew 5:48) [“perfect” means ‘fully formed, complete’].  I am interested in not “wasting the days of [my] probation” (The Book of Mormon 2 Nephi 9:27).  And yes, I am interested in learning ‘the one thing’ –if there really could be ‘one thing’—that could help me accomplish my highest ambitions and goals.

What I learned in my speed-reading of their book was this: the one thing that people need to get the results they want is to identify their highest priority and then double down and totally focus and concentrate on it and work on it without allowing anything to distract you or derail you during your most productive time of the day (early morning after a good night’s sleep).  Then do it over and over again until it becomes a habit (which takes, they say, an average of 66 days, --not 21 days as we used to be taught). 

To do this we must learn to say ‘no’ to lesser priorities—especially others’ priorities which don’t align with ours.  We must become single-minded to our priority until it is accomplished to the standard we have identified or bought into.  We must be willing to make sacrifices. “If you want your life to sum up to something different, then you need to make additions and subtractions from it.”  If we keep doing what we always have done we will continue always as we are. 

The authors identify, I think, six myths that hold us back [I can remember only five]: 1. Myth—Have a balanced life. They say it won’t get you there. [I would need more convincing on this point although I used to teach it myself: you can’t even walk, let alone run, if you aren’t unbalanced momentarily with every stride.] 2. Myth—Everything matters equally. [I’m in total agreement here.] 3. Myth—You can get more done multi-tasking.  [Ditto no. 2] 4. Myth—A disciplined life is all it takes. 5. Myth—Will power [alone] will get it for you. Myth 6 (I think)—You can make it on your own. [I would agree with this entirely--that is, you can't.]

To build a new habit requires that we completely avoid temptations that derail us. Don’t have that stuff around us.  If we can’t avoid it then move, quit the job, say ‘good bye’ to the erstwhile friend, etc., etc. 

  

I would have liked to have the time to read the rest of the book.  I guess I could have, but at the time I didn’t want to part with the twenty-five bucks to pay for the book. 

Regrets.

 

But I guess that’s what you get when you give in to the temptation to go into a bookstore.