Young Womanhood in the Mormon faith (circa 1916)

Like the Jews of Old Testament times, and members of Christ’s church in New Testament times, members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints from their beginnings in the early 1800’s gladly took on the appellation of being called to be a ‘peculiar’ people: “For thou art an holy people unto the Lord thy God, and the Lord hath chosen thee to be a peculiar people unto himself….” (Deuteronomy 14:2)  “But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people, that ye should shew forth the praise of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.” (1 Peter 2:9)  The Latter-day Saints still view themselves as a ‘peculiar’ people in the sense that the scriptures suggest—the Hebrew word segullah meaning ‘special’ or ‘chosen’ or a ‘treasure,’ instead of the popular usage of being odd or eccentric.  

Nevertheless, the 1916 requirements for rural young women (ages 13-19) in the Mormon faith to receive awards included (among others) the following requirements. [Not performing up to the standards which follow would not label the young woman as being sinful or not worthy—just as not earning a bandoleer of merit badges for young male Boy Scouts—but rather would suggest that she (or he) might want to strive to work hard, learn some skills, and distinguish herself in some useful or unique way.  

·        Care successfully for a hive of bees for one season and know their habits.

·        Give the distinguishing characteristics of six varieties of hen and cattle and tell the good and weak points of each.

·        Exterminate the mosquitoes over an area of ½ mile square by pouring a little kerosene on the surface of all standing pools of water twice each month during April, May, or June. 

·        Make two articles of underwear by hand.

·        Cover 25 miles on snowshoes in any six days

·        Learn to float in the Great Salt Lake and propel yourself 50 feet.

·        During three successive months abstain from candy, ice cream, commercially manufactured beverages and chewing gum. 

·        For one month masticate your food so thoroughly that it slips down without any visible effort at swallowing it.

·        Successfully put on a new washer on a faucet.

·        Care for at least two kerosene lamps daily.

·        For three months take care of milk and cream from at least one cow and see that the pails, pans, strainer, and separator are thoroughly cleansed. 

·        During two weeks keep the house free from flies and destroy at least 25 flies daily.

·        Have your toilet moved to an isolated place in the garden.  Have a frame of chicken wire built about three feet away and plant quick-growing vines  such as cucumber or morning glories to screen it from observation.

·        Whitewash your toilet inside and out.

·        Know and describe three cries of a baby

·        Without help or advice care for and harness a team at least five times; drive fifty miles in one season. 

·        Clear sage brush, etc., off of one-half acre of land. 

·        Know 6 blazes used by Indians.

We Are Not a Single Story

I was inspired today by hearing and watching (on the TED Radio Hour)  Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, a Nigerian woman novelist.   She told of the misunderstandings that people settle upon when they assume that the one aspect of another’s personality or culture is all there is to the person or to a people. 

Miss Adichie’s story and life experience suggested structure and gave voice to some inchoate thoughts we probably all have had, or at least I have had as people come to know me, or we have come to ‘know’ each other, at a superficial level.  It is at this level that stereotypes develop.  And stereotypes are always incomplete. 

Years ago when I was a master’s degree student at Northern Arizona University I took some physical education classes and quickly obtained the moniker ‘Cosmo’ by some of my classmates. I was surprised that these new friends initially assumed that because when I was in their presence I always wore gym shorts and tee shirt, and was seen by them in a gymnasium or an athletic field that I was ‘only a jock.’  The nickname ‘Cosmo’ (short for ‘Cosmopolitan,’ suggesting familiarity with a broad understanding of the world) was soon affixed when in conversation or in academic sports science classes I, without conscious effort, revealed that I knew something about the world and history and ideas and science and literature and not just the rules of volleyball or how to score a wrestling match, or even recite the Latin names for the bones and muscles of the human body. 

The problem is that too often people only know a single story pertaining to us. 

The roles we play, the ‘hats’ we wear, the titles we are known by, our ethnicity, our speaking accent, the vocabulary we use, the entertainments we frequent, the things we laugh at, the people we gravitate toward all suggest aspects of our personality, things we value, duties we assume, and multiple stories that we live that are known only in part by people who encounter us in that part.  That is one of the dangers, I am told, of being a character actor in the entertainment industry.  People assume, wrongly, that is who you are—if you let them.  You are really much more.

In reality, our ‘stories’ are complex.  A life well-lived is made up of many chapters as we seek to develop our characters.  Breadth and depth are sought for and fought for daily.  Or they should be.  And then, submission to an astute, but kindly editor is what we all need to bring coherence to the story of our life.  

Finally what emerges is a developed theme. Of course we, or others, won’t know that until the day we die.  

That is, then, what comprises ‘the rest of the story,’ the story that becomes, in final analysis the legacy of our life—at least in this chapter.  Or, to mix the metaphor slightly, as my theology teaches, in this, Act 2, of a three-act play.  

Indeed, I believe it is a never-ending story—for who knows the details of Act 3? 

Ways of Seeing

It is generally assumed that when we look at something we see what is there. With that assumption, because we ‘saw,’ we think we understand. The same assumptions might be had when we listen to something; we assume we ‘hear’ it. Well, we all know it is not that simplc. Can you recall all the details on a photograph you glance at in a magazine or a scene you just looked at out of your car’s window? Can you reconstruct a conversation you just had with someone or a sermon you just heard?

The fact is, you can absorb only so much depending on your degree of attention and the amount of time you spend with something. Even then, our minds ‘fill in the blanks with what they ‘think’ was there or thought they heard. This, more often than not, is not accurate. This ‘filling in’ comes about because of our past experiences with something similar or our preconceptions or what we were really attending to at the time.

Witnesses at the scene of an accident often ‘see’ things quite differently.

With the first photographs of the mid-nineteenth century people reported that they were astonished to observe details that they had never noticed in the original scene. From this, I suppose, came the saying, ‘The camera does not lie.’ Does this mean that our eyes lie? I think that we have selective awareness where we focus on some aspect of what we see or hear and ignore or disregard what does not fit with what is going on in ‘our world.’ But yes, the camera, too, can ‘lie’—witness the wonders of the cinema or animation or publicity photos.

Any educated person knows that the notion of ‘Seeing is believing’ is insufficient or can even be inaccurate as to explaining what is really going on. There is much going on that can’t be seen with the ‘natural eye’ or even the microscope or telescope. Sometimes 'Believing is seeing' would be the more fruitful approach in arriving at truth. It can open up entirely new vistas.

Moreover, one ‘sees’ what he or she is directed to or given opportunity to see. If the object is withheld from the potential viewer or the person is given a view from only one angle it is easy to see that distortions or false conclusions could be drawn. Sadly this happens all the time.

Do you see what I mean?

You Talk Too Much

‘You talk too much, you worry me to death

You talk too much, you even worry my pet

You just talk, talk too much.  /

You talk about people that you don’t know

You talk about people wherever you go

You just talk, talk too much. 

(etc.)

If you are over 50 you probably remember this popular song sung in the 1960’s by Joe Jones. Did you every wonder why it became popular?

I have been criticized (mildly) by a woman for saying in one of my previous weblogs that some women I know talk too much.  I suppose some men do too, but….  

In any case, I think you can get the sense of the song.  Many men do get weary, and when they do they tune out, and when they do, relationships suffer and it’s both their faults.  I believe that all people would do well to remember that we have two ears and one mouth—and we would do well to use them in that proportion.  

And no, I am not a misogynist—quite the contrary.  I clearly know that most of the major ills of mankind have been committed by men; but many, many women seem to be afflicted by this issue.  Silence seems to be an intolerable state in any social situation.  A man would like to be heard, occasionally, but many just don’t seem to be able to get a word in edgewise. Here is a challenge: listen in mixed conversations and see who does the talking and rate what you hear on a substantive scale. 

Play writers, philosophers and poets from time immemorial have remarked on this problem.  I would not go so far as the Talmud which says, ‘He who talks too much commits a sin.’  But consider these thoughts:  

Kahlil Gibran, from The Prophet:   “In much of your talking thinking is half-murdered.”

          W. Shakespeare, from Richard III, Act 1. Sec. 3: “Talkers are no good doers.”

Baron Montesquieu: “Those who have few things to attend to are great babblers; for the less men think, the more they talk.”

John Dryden,  from Absalom and Achitophel:  “But far more numerous was the herd of such, who think too little, and talk too much.” 

But to bring my observation up to our day, I just read in our local newspaper that our children (age 2-kindergarten) are having a much more difficult time learning to read than in previous generations.  Oh they ‘communicate’ (in reality, maybe just talk), but they can’t read.  The study showed that the problem is that the parents don’t read—at least they don’t read to and in the viewing of their children. 

  

For our futures’ sake, and for our own sake and our children’s sake nothing beats reading a good book, indeed, many good books.   Just talking (ourselves) to fill up time,  or hearing others’ talk (as on television or enduring the banal ‘communications’ of ‘light’ conversations)  is not a substitution for informed reading/thinking and then speaking something of substance when one has something important to share. 

Read, think, listen, write, and talk a little. 

The Jitters

For years I was involved in coaching young athletes.  I have also been involved, one way or another, in numerous marriages.  Moreover, I have nearly five decades of adult experience under my belt as a Church worker, giver of sermons and teacher. All of this has exposed me to a phenomenon many have called “the jitters.” 

Behaviors associated with “the jitters” include “butterflies” in the stomach, feelings of illness, insomnia, hyperactivity, weakness, self-doubt, and suddenly what seems to be highly attractive other alternatives.   Thoughts arise such as: “Am I doing the right thing?,” “Do I really want to do this?,” “CAN I do this?”  

In my pastoral role I’ve had some brides-to-be and numerous of my athletes, and even I, as an athlete and coach, had the jitters as the moment of truth has presented itself.

Sometimes when this happens, alternatives come to mind that present themselves as a way out.  These alternatives often become suddenly very attractive and compelling; sometimes these alternatives come as other “voices” or other offers.  There is even a biblical scripture that address the phenomenon: “There are, it may be, so many kinds of voices in the world, and none of them is without signification [so we think].” 

Now, in case you are getting ready to step up to the first tee, or the pulpit, or the wedding alter, or put in mission application papers, something akin to “the jitters” may be suddenly afflict you.  Not that you are not poised, entirely capable, finely conditioned or otherwise worthy or well-prepared.  Most people who occasionally get the jitters are all of these things. Those whose confidence is truly weak never get far enough to get the jitters. 

My sense, based on long experience, is that you will have far fewer regrets if you stick with the plan that brought you to this point; you are now ready to execute.  You are committed and if you reflect for just a moment you will know that others who know you have confidence you can do the job.  If you doubt it, ask them. 

Stick with the game plan.  Don’t let negative thoughts derail you.  Notwithstanding other seemingly attractive alternatives (such as turning around and running) your earlier well-planned and practiced decision and preparation will carry you through.  Now is the time for some affirmations—just have a quick positive talk with yourself then DO IT.  

  

Then you can say with satisfaction, “I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course….” These are the people you hear about.   Quitters don’t make the news. 

Go for it!

Caveat. Even people with evil intent follow this approach to the accomplishment of their nefarious purposes.  I am assuming my readers are otherwise; anyone who can put up with my moralizing has to be.

Boy Scouts of America—Morally Straight?

I was a Boy Scout.  My sons were Boy Scouts.  The organization has a scout oath, and a scout law.  I took the oath; I followed the law.  It made me a better boy; it made me a better man.  I was not alone; it is the largest youth organization in the United States.  I wonder how much longer it will be?

Until now, here is what the Scout Oath said:

On my honor I will do my best
To do my duty to God and my country
and to obey the Scout Law;
To help other people at all times;
To keep myself physically strong,
mentally awake, and morally straight.

Morally straight?

Now, in May of 2013 I weep for the Boy Scouts of America. 

The Boy Scouts of America has been pressured into capitulating to the so called Gay Rights agenda by accommodating to their promotion of their perverted life-style.

  

I deplore the forced corruption of this once fine institutional contributor to the making of men—men of integrity and sound morals and manly qualities. 

I feel very sorry for the executives and leaders of the B.S.A.  I thank them for their wonderful contribution to life lessons for generations of millions of boys like me. I am glad I was taught the Scout Law—to be ‘clean, [and] reverent.’ And I am glad it was part of their mission to ‘reinforce ethical standards’ in my life and the life of my boys. 

I am sorry I can no longer support what they are forced to distort.