Holier Than Thou

As a presidential candidate debate watcher and then as a brief follow-up political analysis watcher (I can endure only so much) I have been disgusted by the negative, close-minded and prejudicial attitude of numerous commentators—and some candidates—who seem to glory in ‘drawing blood’ from those who would be public servants for our country.

Interestingly, it is frequently the candidate who distances himself/herself most markedly from the pack by taking a strong moral stance who becomes the target for the critics. It seems that if a candidate is ‘too good’ that he/she is set up for the ‘slings and arrows’ of those who would want to see them brought down. It seems especially galling if the candidate appears to be what the critic labels ‘holier than thou.’ They can then dismiss the candidate as being unqualified simply by virtue of the label they affix. I guess, by their twisted logic, they feel that to be ‘holy’ is worse than being ‘base.’ They imply that you can’t take such a candidate seriously; they are not ‘one of us.’

True.

The way I view this is that a really good person is a reproach to the critic who himself probably has behaviors or tendencies that he tries to impute to others. In school it was the kids who were often in trouble or who were low-achievers who labeled the higher achievers as ‘goody-two-shoes.’ Jesus identified such persons as liars and hypocrites, whited sepulchers.

My wife pointed out that it seems to be the same type of behavior exhibited by lobsters that are thrown into a pot of water; the ones who have the skill or dexterity to start to climb out of the hot water are dragged back down in by the others below them.

As for me, I welcome being in the company of one ‘holier than me,’ or more skilled, or more erudite, or more charitable, or any number of virtues. These are the people, the noble and great ones, who inspire me to want to do better.

I’ll vote for this kind of candidate. 

Science and Religion

I recently came upon this interesting testimony from an internationally known scientist.

Testimony of John S. Lewis, professor emeritus in chemistry and professor of Planetary Sciences at MIT (from website, Mormon Scholars Testify):

“I was also familiar with the literature of [contemporary traditional Christianity’s] “scientific creationism,” which I found to be appallingly bad, full of glaring factual blunders and astonishing lapses of logic. I found their personal interpretations of scripture to be indefensible in the face of overwhelming evidence. Their mindset seemed to be that science was the opposite of religion; that their interpretations of scripture were right and anyone who disagreed with them must be evil, intent on destroying religion.”

“But the geological record is as much the work of God as the scriptures are. They together constitute two independent witnesses, satisfying the Old Testament requirement that two or more independent witnesses are required to attest to truth. That the two witnesses, science and scripture, should see different things is no surprise. After all, your own two eyes see different scenes; each eye sees things the other does not see, but by combining the witness of your two eyes you can see in depth, something neither eye can do alone. To assume that one witness is correct and the other is lying is to lose all perspective. It is to become half-blind. As the Jesuit paleontologist Pierre Teilhard de Chardin expressed it, ‘Science and religion are two complementary faces of one and the same underlying reality.’ ”

“I see no conflict between science and religion. I see many conflicts between the misunderstandings of science and the flawed interpretation of scripture of men who lack both scientific knowledge and guidance by the Holy Spirit. I invite any person who desires to strengthen his understanding and testimony of creation to study both the scientific and scriptural evidence prayerfully, with the goal of learning and understanding. Properly understood, this study will provide you with a rich and deep perspective.”

“The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, with its long tradition of free inquiry and of individuals prayerfully testing every point of doctrine for themselves, is fully compatible with the scientific method.”

~~~~~~~~
It is the doctrine of my Church, and my own personal conviction, that there is no conflict between true religion (divinely revealed truths) and true science (a method or approach that gathers facts and tests hypotheses with an object of trying to determine utility and expand knowledge) and that one need not be afraid of the other. Both have—or should have—a common objective of determining truth. The problem is where one accepts unproven scientific theories or inferences as ultimate facts and unwittingly builds or promotes a life built on a foundation of sand.

Texting

I don’t text.

I do, however, try to keep up somewhat with what is happening in my world.

I sometimes read the weblog of FOCUS ON THE FAMILY and came upon an article, a few weeks ago, ‘Texting Lingo Every Parent Needs to Know’. The article really opened my eyes – especially the 156 comments that were posted in response.

I guess I have truly lagged in this area of electronic communication. If you are a parent of a child I would guess between the ages of about 8 and 40 I suppose you have to deal with this issue of texting either to monitor it or to know that it is happening and is probably out of your control. The Pew Research group apparently recently concluded that “most teens prefer texting to talking—with a third of them sending over 100 messages a day.” I have concluded that this is a very big deal for parents to add to their plate.

After sampling a number of the comments that educated me to what is going on (some very negative things) I selected a few of the parents’ comments that might help some of my readers who have children:

I keep coming back to this . . . my children need technology in the culture they have been born into. They have to develop discernment and discipline in order to live with these tools and be able to still have righteous and pure lives. They won't be under my roof for forever and will need to be able to stand firm wherever they may be. So . . . that is where my efforts need to be concentrated. Standing firm on one's convictions has never been easy. But way too many times, young people get a free pass from their parents and other adults in their lives excusing their immaturity and poor choices as "Kids will be kids", "That's teenagers for you." Yep - when the bar is placed that low - it sure will be.

We've decided as a family to avoid the entire texting craze...while we have cell phones, none of us text (including mom and dad). Our kids are proud to tell people, "We don't text...we prefer real conversation." They've seen how it has affected teen relationships and how much they hate it when friends are so busy texting people who aren't there, that they miss out on face-to-face conversation with the people who ARE there. We aren't anti-technology, just anti-texting. It seems to be a fad that has been detrimental to grammar and spelling, and detrimental to relationships, so we've chosen to be counter-cultural and say "no".

Texting and text lingo is just another advance in real-time communication. This type of tech talk will not going away any time soon; it will most certainly develop into something even faster and more efficient over time. We believe it's a perfectly acceptable form of communication when used responsibly. For my husband and I, it saves us a tremendous amount of time as we converse with others on business issues or send quick notes back and forth. No face time has been lost because of it and we are much more productive as it eliminates the time we have to spend hanging on the phone having empty conversations. As far as children are concerned - it should be monitored like television shows, computer usage, language, or anything else. There must be boundaries, expectations, and accountability.

I simply cannot devote half of my day everyday to look over their shoulders and follow-up after them on every forum, website, or texting conversation they have encountered. I do try to do some of it each day though - at least they know that I do care and will be watching them somehow, somewhere! But they also know that God sees them 24/7 - no hiding anything there!

Our daughters have cellphones but like other parents, we let them know that they are a privilege to managed responsibly. We have set clear boundaries around how, when, and where, etc. For example, phones are not allowed at the dinner table. They must be left on the counter or in the other room. (Parents lead by example.) Phones are left on the kitchen counter at 9:00 pm on school nights, 10:00 pm otherwise. As parents, we must be given the passwords to their phones and they are aware that we may conduct random checks on them at any given time. One thing we do not allow is any picture-mail or pictures by texting. They understand that this is for their protection – we may trust them but not everyone who may send them a text message may be as responsible. All it takes is one wayward foolish teen to text/sext an unwanted picture and the one receiving is still held accountable and you can’t erase a picture in your head. Therefore, no picture-mail. If there are any concerns with how they communicate with us or others (ie: bad attitudes with us, family, teachers, or inappropriate texts w/friends), phone service is easily managed at the account level – where we can turn texting on/off, data on/off, manage allowable numbers or suspend service all together. We do not get into “tug of wars” with “hand me your phone”, etc. We just go to the internet and manage the account. Because they value their communication privileges, it is a rare occasion that we have to enforce the consequences and when we do, they respond with very sincere and quick repentance.

I'm just having to approach this all with faith. God loves my children, my children love God. They seek to follow Him each day as best they can. Because He loves them more than I ever could, I have to trust that he will convict them if they are going off-course and help them as they seek to get back onto the path of righteousness.

A Coat of Many Colors

One of the few regrets in my life is my inability to stay in touch with people who crossed paths with me in former days and who have influenced my life. I have been told that if I would ‘get with it’ and use social media such as Facebook maybe I wouldn’t feel this way. I’m not convinced. The few times I’ve done this all I’ve seen are some shallow, inane comments made by or about people that do not inform me about who the person really is; in fact, usually a distortion is suggested. I really doubt that many people, who have any self-esteem at all, want others to judge them by what they often so thoughtlessly post.

I came across this verse once:
New friends I cherish
And treasure their worth.
But old friends to me
Are the salt of the earth.

Unfortunately, so unfortunately, people come and people go. They drift in and out of your life almost like characters in a favorite book. When you finally close the cover, the characters have told their story and you open another book with another set of characters, then you find yourself focusing on the new ones, not the ones from the past. But your old friends have a way of staying in your memory, frozen as they once were.

New acquaintances are more immediate, their issues more compelling, and the others start to slip away. You say it won’t happen, but it does. When you do make contact with a friend from the past you always see how they changed; and they see how we have changed. I’m sure we surprise each other. Your memory doesn’t quite jibe with the new reality. More often than not you end up more nostalgic than before. The Barbara Streisand song, “The Way We Were” (at least the title), captures this nostalgia for me.

Though our old acquaintances (and we) have changed, we can and should still appreciate the part they played in the development of who we are. John Ruskin said, “Every good life leaves behind the fiber of it interwoven forever in the work of the world.” The fabric of my life has in it the fibers of many weavers of whom I am grateful. Indeed, I am a coat of many colors.

Maybe Thomas Wolfe was right: ‘you can’t go home again.’ If you do, you won’t find any of your old friends there, at least not as we remember them. Certainly, none of us is ‘the way we were. ’ Except for superficialitys I would say thank goodness.

Cleaning House

In these thoughts today I use the phrase ‘cleaning house’ to connote something other than the use of a broom and dustpan or a bucket of soapy water. Neither do I necessarily use it in the sense of being victorious over some opponent. But the phrase does have utility because I have been contemplating the foot-dragging task of going through my personal ‘treasures’ and things which are to me of value but in reality will be devalued and discarded by whomever might someday have to go through them.

I more keenly recognize the necessity of doing this house cleaning because of the imperative of my taking part in cleaning out, with my brothers, the effects of my dad who died early this year and of his house which burned down just a few months ago. My mom, who has Alzheimer’s disease, has no possessions other than the clothes she wears and has nothing else, including her cognitive and expressive abilities (deep memory we are not sure of). She has left a very positive record in the lives that she has touched and a record in heaven of her life that will be restored to her when she passes on, but nearly every material thing she and dad valued is now gone.

My own books and papers, of course, are of value to me. Lesser so is some of my sporting gear (I even have my Wilson 1957 Ted Williams personal model baseball glove, my 1962 tour blade golf irons, and my 1964 Head skis). Having disclosed this I know I might be judged as a hoarder, but other than these few anomalies I am not. The sporting gear, old clothes, and other material things can go, but it is wrenching to me to discard the things I have written which define who I am and books that I have read that shaped me.

Fortunately, I am strongly convinced that the record of my life, contributed to by many, is etched on my character and will remain with me on my eternal journey. I just don’t want to carry up the remaining mountains I must climb anything that could hamper my climb or that would impede me in my efforts to help others with theirs. Repentance is the process of jettisoning the immaterial encumbrances, but where does one start with the material things?

Character

As I get older I have increasingly been preoccupied with a personal concern for the importance of going out of this life with a refined character. This has been a concern for as long as I can remember (even my doctoral dissertation, twenty-seven years ago, was on character education), but it seems to be an imperative now. Maybe it is because of what I have been reading: Dumas’ The Count of Monte Cristo; Ralph Waldo Emerson’s Essays; the biography of Neal A. Maxwell; the Psalms and Proverbs and the life of Paul in the Bible; reflection on the teachings and character of Jesus and some of the prophets of the Book of Mormon; the noble or ideal man of Confucian thought. Or, maybe what I have been reading has been influenced by what I have been thinking—and if so, that is good.

Thomas d Kempis (The Imitation of Christ) recognized the struggle of such a focus: “Who hath a harder battle to fight than he who striveth for self-mastery? And this should be our endeavor, even to master self, and thus daily to grow stronger than self and go on unto perfection.” Socrates concurred: “We cannot live better than in seeking to become better.” The outcome of a life-time of striving should be an acceptable human being: “Goodness is richer than greatness. It consists not in the outward things we do, but in the inward thing we are.” (Edwin Hubble Chapin)

Though I have to strive daily for this ideal (yet I find joy in the striving) it is apparent that there are some noble souls that seem to come to this earth already well-furnished. I have known a man, Gerald Herbert Lindsey, who seemed to be such a soul. C. S. Lewis has said that there are a few of this caliber of men around and as we accrete some of their qualities we will find them for there is likely to be a mutual attraction.

In the scriptural book of Abraham, the Lord Jehovah shows Abraham: “many of the noble and great ones…who were good; and he said unto me: Abraham, thou art one of them; thou wast chosen before thou wast born.” This man, and others, came, as the poet Wordsworth said, “…trailing clouds of glory” to this earth to mingle with the rest of us.—to serve us and to give us the example of the higher life.

The American 19th Century philosopher-poet Ralph Waldo Emerson was such a man in our history. I have been especially intrigued by two of Emerson’s essays, The Over-Soul and Character in which he acknowledged by name some men who had this ineffable quality: “I have read [he said] that those who listened to Lord Chatham felt that there was something finer in the man than anything which he said. The Gracchi, Agis, Cleomenes, and others of Plutarch’s heroes, do not in the record of facts equal their own fame. Sir Philip Sidney, the Earl of Essex, Sir Walter Raleigh, are men of great figure, and of few deeds. We cannot find the smallest part of the personal weight of [George] Washington in the narrative of his exploits. The authority of the name of Schiller is too great for his books…but somewhat resided in these men which begot an expectation that outran all their performance. The largest part of their power was latent. This is that which we call Character…a reserved force…a Genius, by whose impulses the man is guided…a stellar and undiminishable greatness. [He] inspires respect, and the wish to deal with him, both for the quiet spirit of honor which attends him, and for the intellectual pastime which the spectacle of so much ability affords. The will of the pure runs down from them into other natures, as water runs down from a higher into a lower vessel. With what quality is in him, he infuses all nature that he can reach. He animates all he can.

Of these ‘noble and great ones’ “Plato said it was impossible not to believe in the children of the gods, ‘though they should speak without probable or necessary arguments.” (Emerson) In other words, those who have achieved or will achieve this status don’t declare their ‘chosen’ status but rather simply live and radiate it.

“The history of those gods [men with a God-like character] and saints which the world has written, and then worshiped, are documents of character.” (Emerson)

Being a Survivor

Today’s thoughts are a continuation of my last weblog entry and come from summary findings of Ben Sherwood’s book, The Survivors Club, Grand Central Publishing, 2009.

Since my wife and I fly quite frequently I thought it would be informative for other flyers to know who survives airplane crashes—and, surprising to me, most (95.7% according to the National Transportation Safety Board) do—and how they go about it. Moreover, “40 percent of the fatalities in plane crashes around the world occur in situations that are actually survivable.” Before blowing off these assertions as nonsense read the book, pp.58-59.

Here is how it is done.

• Decide before the flight that if any accident were to happen ‘I will survive if I do not panic. I will not freeze, but I will keep my wits and will act purposefully and quickly.’ Then review how you will act, envisioning several scenarios. You will have a maximum of 90 seconds to evacuate the aircraft. If you don’t get out before that time you are dead.
• Take the emergency procedures reviewed by the flight attendant seriously. Listen carefully and read the printed instructions every time you fly; it will pre-set you for action should action be needed. In other words, keep your shoes on, your safety belt tightly fastened across your hips and know the best impact position to take (lean forward with your head on or close to the surface in front of you, hands and arms forward near your head and feet flat on the floor). Don’t go to sleep or start reading until the plane attains altitude.
• Know the concept of ‘plus 3 / minus 8.’ Plus three is the first three minutes of the flight—down the runway and pulling up into the sky. Minus eight is the last eight minutes of the flight—the final approach including touchdown and braking on the runway. Eighty % of all plane crashes occur in those critical eleven minutes. Be alert and ready to take action, should it be needed, during those eleven minutes.
• Memorize where the emergency exits are located and arrange ahead of time to be seated in an emergency exit or within five rows of one. Count how many rows you are from your first and second alternative exits. You likely may not be able to see them in an emergency because of smoke or the crush of bodies. Discuss your escape plan with those seat-mates or family members you are flying with.
• Forget your carry-on luggage, books, laptops, purses, etc. Just get out once the plane comes to a stop. “Lugging your bags will slow down your escape and block others, too.”
• Proper flying clothes includes lace-up or Velcro shoes, no nylons or skirts or high heels for ladies, no shorts for anyone, long pants and long sleeves made of non-synthetic material. Fire especially and shredded aluminum are your biggest hazards to escape. You might consider buying and carrying a smoke hood in your pocket.
• Know that if you are young, slender, fit, and alert you will have a much greater chance of surviving than those who are not. If you are old, slow or have, shall we say, large girth then try to get a seat near the floor exits—the larger wider main doors usually at the front and back of the plane; the smaller over-wing exits are more difficult for the less agile to negotiate. Conventional wisdom says to sit toward the rear of the plane for greater survivability, but FAA safety experts do not agree. Isle seats, except in exit rows, have a slightly better escape chance than do window seats.

In this weblog I have dwelt on air flight safety. In the book there are chapters or sub-chapters on outdoor survival, being lost and getting found, parachute jumping accidents, accidents on the sea, who lives and dies in the emergency room of the hospital, hypothermia, the power of mental/spiritual attitude in survival, fear, surviving trauma of animal attacks, vehicle accidents, postponing death, resilience genetics, Holocaust survivors, how adversity can be good for you, and other interesting sections, and finally ‘The Survivor Profiler’ a predictor of your own personal chances of being a survivor.

I end with the U.S. Air Force ‘Rule of Three’: You cannot survive

 3 seconds without spirit and hope
 3 minutes without air
 3 hours without shelter in extreme conditions
 3 days without water
 3 weeks without food
 3 months without companionship or love

Keep your priorities straight and you can be a survivor until it is really your time to move on.